TheVacancy.Net Travelogue

After feeling completely lost every day I sit down with Katie Couric and her perfectly shiny coif, she gives me the spill about the fighting in the Middle East, that no miracles occurred and we are STILL over there, and this and that and blah blah and Muslims and blah and Islam and yadda yadda...I eventually just glaze over.



I hated feeling like a gutless pastry, so I e-mailed a professor in the History Department at Southeastern Louisiana University and asked for a recommendation on an easy-to-read book about the Middle East. They recommended From Beirut to Jersusalem, by Thomas L. Friedman. It chronicles his days as a reporter in the Middle East. From what I gathered, it's basically a diary.



A month later I visited the library and investigated this potential read. The librarian told me it was on the uppermost level of the library, serving as an anchor on their FEMA tarp. I decided I'd look for a less dense book. A few Dewey Decimals down from Friedman's book was Understanding The Contemporary Middle East, edited by Deborah J. Gerner. This book is a collaboration of many scholars from many fields of study and it touches on Religion, Geography, History, Culture, and many other topics. It's less than 400 pages (Font: Times Regular typeface, approx. 10 pt with 11 or 12 leading).



Of course, every time I hop on a treadmill at the gym with this book in tow, the NASCAR fans cut me the stink eye. I must look like a terrorist studying up on terrorism. Me and my blonde-haired, green-eyed, techno-loving self. Terrorist. Ha. People scoot over a few seats or move to the next treadmill if they see me carrying the book, but that's precisely what I am trying to keep myself form becoming: an uninformed yuppy gobbling up every dramatized thing Anderson Cooper says about the Middle East.



Really...what's the big stink over there (and I don't mean the camels)? Why does everyone hate one another? And what business is it of ours? First thing the book states is the lump term "Middle East," or referring to all the Arabs, people practicing Islam, and North African countries as a single unit, is a misnomer. The second thing it goes on to say is that it's not all sand storms and semi-automatics over there. They have beautiful cities and the "Fertile Crescent," a very green area of the region suitable for crops. Not all of the countries produce oil. Although about 80% of Arabs are Muslim, only about 20% of Muslims are Arabs.



So if you're interested in learning more outside of the contiguous 48, and your own preconceptions, I recommend this book. Within the first few chapters, it clarifies that this region has more history than any other region on Earth: meaning there has been a lot of fighting, rulers, power struggles, and resentment. Humans began here. As an outside observer, and a member of a relatively new civilization, I couldn't ever understand the complexity of the issues there...but I'd like a little perspective.

Labels: arab, book review, islam, louisiana, middle east, southeastern

I love being from the South. There's nothing better than a hot, lazy Sunday afternoon on the porch swing with a glass of Iced Tea (ahem, Carolina Iced Tea) and a can of OFF!. Sometimes I feel like being a Belle is similar to an exclusive club with cult-like suspicions of outsiders. Others talk crap about them, but they wish they could be on the inside...kinda how the valedictorian feels about the head cheerleader.






I don't think I could live without my Crepe Myrtles, Magnolias, and Azaleas. I could, however, live without lovebugs, though. God just didn't give those insects brains [bless their hearts]. If you're ever swarmed, don't swat--they love that. Start a-swattin' and they com a-clinging.












Unfortunately, OFF! doesn't work on lovebugs (or noisy dogs). I don't know much about the damn things, except that nobody knows much about the damn things. They are proof that Darwinism is unbelievably flawed...these bugs are mortally retarded and I don't see how an insect of such stupidity can survive.






Something else I found unbelievable is this Pride of the South 'commemorative' ring. You have got to be f'n kidding me. I love the South, but I'm not a Confederacy Aficionado (or a racist or a supremacist or mortally retarded). I received this "offer" (translation: mockery) in the mail Thursday.












Seriously. Elvis is dead, O.J. did it, the Government is lying, and the South LOST. What kind of backwoods piece of "fine jewelry" is this? Sure, the Stars and Bars have different meanings to different people, but when you wear the dang flag it universally says one thing: "I'm uneducated." It's just a little tasteless. K-Mart carries better "fine jewelry."













I love to celebrate the South and [just about] everything it stands for as much as the average Bud-loving, rifle-toting, BassPro-shopping, camo-wearing, boat-launching, truck-driving Southerner. I LOVE Blue Collar Comedy Tour. I eat strange things. I can fry anything and I own four cast-iron skillets (three of which belonged to my great grandmother).






But I draw the line here. My "Pride of the South" lies not within having enslaved millions, lost a war, and lived in denial for 150 years. Crap like this perpetuates the belief that being "from the South" entails a fierce defense of 1861.





I think the folks at Bradford Exchange need some G.R.I.T.S.






And no post about the South would be complete without: GO TIGERS, BEAT AUBURN.

Labels: Auburn, confederate, louisiana, lovebug, LSU, south

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Many thanks to CafePress.com for their aid in making this tee shirt. Every purchase donates money to non-profit charitable efforts in Louisiana.

Cover your stuff South Louisiana style: with a little humor and a lot of generosity.

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Labels: fay, fema, gustav, hanna, hurricane, ike, josphine, katrina, lacey, louisiana, new orleans, pyle, rita, tarp